Wednesday, January 21, 2015

An Update. Hugs. Heartbeats. Reality Came A Knockin'. Nails. Tears. Tenderness. Part 1

So much has happened in the last 24 hours.  Good events.  Painful events.  Tender events.  How to take it all in?  I am surrounded by loving, good, really good people.  I love you all so much!

UPDATE:  I have an appointment with my oncologist tomorrow. My husband and a good friend, a fellow cancer survivor, J,  will going with me.  My parents plan to be there.  And I just found out my brother-in-law will be there as well!  Like my sister said, "We are a small family, but we are very strong!"  He'll be giving me the results of the CT Chest Scan.  That one had dye in it.  I should also have the results of the Bone Scan.  That one was weird because I was injected with radioactive calcium.  I hoping against hope that the BRACK results will be in as well.  It's a big appointment.  I purposely kept this week filled with visits with loving friends, grandbabies and my children.   J. called and let me know about a breast cancer support group meeting on Saturday morning.  I'm eager to attend!

Yesterday I was waiting for "the call" from my doctor's insurance expert. She was going to call me to let me know the authorization number for MD Anderson.  Mind you, she wasn't calling to see IF I got an authorization, but to give me an authorization number.  At least that's what she told me last Thursday.  That's just who she is.  All I can say is that I'm glad she's on MY side!  :)

I went to lunch with two close friends.  At the restaurant I realized I had forgotten my phone.  After a momentary panic, I realized it was a gift.  I would relax and enjoy their company. 

At one point I was lost in thought, and one of them tenderly asked what was on my mind.  I don't even remember what I said, I just remember how lovingly she looked at me and how patiently she waited as I answered her. 

Her son is coming home after a year long sojourn around the world - literally.  I can't imagine the pain of not physically seeing my son for an entire year!  Of course there's Skype, but we agreed it's not the same.  She said that she loves to hug her son because her head just reaches his chest - right where she can hear his heartbeat.  What a lovely picture.  A son hugs his mother, laying her head on his chest.  A grateful mother rests in her son's embrace, listens to his heartbeat and thanks God he's home. 

Well, we got home and yes, there was the call.  We three sat in the living room as I tried to get through.  Once we connected, my friends eyes are glued to my face as I hear the words, "I have your authorization number." 

I'm going to MD Anderson. 
I'm going to MD Anderson because I have breast cancer. 
I have breast cancer. 
It's real.  

My friends see it in my face.  Reality came a knockin'. 

And for today, this is my truth.

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