1) My CT scan is clear - no metastasis to my organs - the cancer has not spread to my organs!
2) My bone scan is clear - no metastasis to my bones - the cancer has not spread to my bones!
3) The BRCA 1 and BRCA 2 gene mutations are negative! I do not carry the gene for breast cancer!
We were so happy! so grateful! so relieved! My husband and I hugged and cried and hugged some more! Then I looked down my shirt at told the girls, "No more jokes like that - ok?"
So, what does this mean?
1) I am still planning to go to MD Anderson for an opinion only. Hopefully I can get in by next week. Still waiting on my insurance letter. My oncologist is eager to hear what they have to say.
2) Then, I make an appointment with my surgeon and we talk about the surgery and set a date.
3) I don't need a bi-lateral mastectomy or even a mastectomy. Just a lumpectomy. But I have to keep in mind that nothing is for certain until they get in there. They will remove the 11.43 mm tumor (It's really small!) and then about 2 cm all around it to get clear margins. They will also remove 1-2 lymph nodes to make sure they're clear.
4) Because I am triple negative, we have one shot at curing me. So, radiation and chemo are in my future as well.
So, I'm doing ok.
I shared with a dear friend that I haven't gone down the road of Why Me? I've stayed out of Bitterness City and Angry With God County. Thank God!
Believe me, I'm very familiar with both locations. But, finally, I've realized that those areas rob me of so much energy and time. Finally I realize that. I don't have time for games. I DO have time for Him who began a good work in me, for praise, for faith, for trust, for love.
I have cried. I have had sleepless nights. I have researched how women deal with bi-lateral mastectomies. I have been sad. But, most of the time, I look back and see only one set of footprints.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.
‘You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?’
‘The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand,
is when I carried you.’
I'm good because I have Him.....and you....in my life.
And for today, that's my truth.