Results. Surgery. Psalm a Day

Results


http://www.cliparthut.com/large-thing-2-clipart.html

Hallelujah!  Thing 2 is benign!  Yea!  Praise God!  As we were walking into the doctor's office to get the results, I reminded my family that whatever the results were:  God is good!  And He is!  Thank you to everyone one for your prayers, love, support, positive thoughts and for being there for me!

Surgery
August 27th is the big day!  So today my hubby and I are going out to buy pajamas with button up tops.  If I remember correctly, these were invaluable to my sister-in-law as she recovered from her surgery. 

A dear friend of mine recommended making a support pillow for my breast.  She described it as a sort of rectangle that goes from my neck to my stomach.  It should be as deep as my breasts are.  Then, if I sleep on my side, I place it between my breasts to support the operated on breast.  She suggested filling the pillow with polyfill so it will be soft and conforming. We discussed making an extra one as my incision will be on the bottom of my breast. I'll let you know how it works out!  Wow, I don't think I've ever written the word "breast" so many times in one paragraph!

Psalm a Day
I've been reading through the Psalms.  It's been a wonderfully uplifting, learning experience!  I pick a verse from each Psalm and write it in the Psalm a Day section of my journal.  I've been looking for a Psalm a Day podcast commentary, so if you hear of one please let me know! I'd love to explore podcasts until I find the "right one" for me!  (miaismine22@gmail.com)

Today I read Psalm 9 and verse 9 really stood out to me.  It's one of my favorites:

The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. 

Then the Lord reminded me of a Bible study tool:  focus on the verbs in each verse.

The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. 

Then I remembered from my teaching days, I would ask my students to note the subject of the verb - who is doing the action.  So I decided to do the same.

The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. 

The Lord is.  He whispered to me, "The Lord is.  The Lord is."   He simply is.  Period.  Whether the news is good, bad or ugly, He is.  The Lord is.

He is for you as well.  The Lord is.

And for today, that is my truth. 

http://www.christianbook.com/taste-that-lord-good-chalkboard-wall/pd/153291

So why?

http://www.ynccla.org/sermons/audio/why_god_why_injustice/

So Why?

I was asked by a non-believing family member this question: "Why would a loving God permit His child to suffer?"  This member went onto say they would never allow their child to go through what I'm going through.  These words were spoken with great love for me, with great frustration on my behalf, and with great confusion.  I understand, my dear one, I understand.

This question was posed to me at a time when I too was beginning to feel anger at cancer - which is a good thing.  And even anger at God, which is an honest and true emotion, one God Himself created.  He can take our anger, our bitterness, our hurt, our fear, our confusion, our doubts.  God is a big God - He can not only take it, He can heal these emotions. 

I pondered this question for some time, then I realized how much good has come out of this painfully frustrating, scary situation.  Yup - I made me a gratitude list. I counted my blessings.  Have you ever done this?  It's so healing.  Here's what I came up with:

1.  My husband and I are closer than ever.

2.  Life is sweeter, richer.

3.  I was able to minister to others in Houston.

4.  My friend of over 30 years came to the United States just in time.

5.   Friendships are deeper and more authentic.

6.   I'm realizing how special my PCP truly is and how blessed I am to have her.

Yes, this journey is hard.  Yes, it stinks.  Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes, God still sits on throne.  Yes, Jesus loves me.  Yes! Yes!  Yes!!

For today, this is my truth!

http://eternityinourhearts.com/category/thoughts-on-faith/





My New Companion. Say What? A Quote.



http://dishmoptop.com/tag/triple-negative-breast-cancer/

My New Companion. 
So, I have a new companion.  Her name is Fatigue.  I'm learning to make peace with her, to listen to her.  She is actually becoming a good friend.  I'm realizing that if I simply pay attention to her and follow her suggestions to rest, my life is better, my healing is better, my recovery is better. 
July was tough.  I had a hard time with Fatigue.  August has been a bit better. 
I'm learning to listen. 
I'm learning to laugh. 
I'm learning to trust. 
I'm learning.

Say What?
Ok, so my oncologist told me that the new mass was nothing - remember rejoicing with me about that?  Well, he didn't give me the whole story.  My surgeon shared the proverbial "rest of the story" with me.  The radiologist staged the mass at a Birad 4.  That basically means, "Biopsy this mass NOW."  What a shocker.  So, after dealing with doctor's and such for a week, I finally have authorization and an appointment for an ultrasound guided core needle biopsy on August 18.  If "Thing 2" is benign, we do a lumpectomy followed by 6 - 7 weeks of radiation.  If it is malignant, we do a mastectomy followed by 6 - 7 weeks of radiation.  If Jesus comes back before then, we rejoice!  I should know by the 21st at the latest. 

A Quote
I leave you with a quote from a book I just finished, The Reluctant Midwife by Patricia Harmon. 



"We all have hard lives, Becky.

Don't you know that?

Sometimes you just have to take your wounded heart out,

stitch it up,

stuff it back in your chest, and go on..."

 Indeed, as we lean on our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, He will help us take out our wounded hearts, He'll stitch them up, stuff them back in our chests, and help us to go on victoriously!

My dear friend, keep fighting the good fight. 

Keep on believing. 

And believe me,

I'm preaching to myself tonight. 

For today, this is my truth. 

Photo Credit: http://i1194.photobucket.com

http://www.mychristianresource.org/christmas-time-encouragement/

An Update. Good bye Chemo!

http://wearemomo.com/takes-constant-adjustments-succeed/

My daughter sent me this quote and I love it!  That's how this journey has been for me - and indeed it has been a journey!  I did find an image with my ocean view, however.  I believe during this time, I have had to adjust my sails - a lot.  It's been hard.  It's been easy.  It's been full of pain.  It's been full of laughter.  It's been a crying time.  It's been a rejoicing time.  Whatever it has been, I'm ever grateful for my God, my family, friends and you - you who are reading this.  You know, lately the words, "Life is so good," has been coming out of my mouth more times than I can count.  And, indeed, as I adjust my sails, I see the truth in that statement:  Life is good!

An Update
I was emailing a friend of mine and decided to paste part of the email here.  Here's what's going on. The second mass did not show up at all on the MRI.  Praise God!

1.  chemotherapy - done!

2.  Five weeks of recovery - that's now until August 17 - 27 or so. 

3.  Surgery - lumpectomy and biopsy of my lymph nodes because the cancer spread to one node.  This should happen between August 17 - 27.  I'm really thinking it will be the week of August 17. 

4.  Three weeks recovery from surgery.

5.  Six - seven weeks daily radiation.

Then I'm finished with treatment.  Because I'm triple negative, there's no other treatment for me afterwards.  My prognosis depends highly on the pathological report of the tumor after surgery.

So, there we go!  Hopefully will be done by November and back to being a university student teacher supervisor by January!  I hope.  I hope. 

Good bye Chemo!
Yup!  That's right.  My last chemotherapy was July 16th!  Yea!   Of course this week I still have the fatigue, some pain in my legs and no strength at all to walk like I was.  In fact, all month fatigue has been my constant companion.  Pain has been beaten down by mega doses of B12.  I intend to conquer the fatigue as well.  Soon.  For now, I sleep when I need to, sew when I can, and live life to the fullest on my good days. 

And life is indeed good!



http://gallery4share.com/t/tinkerbell-pixie-dust-flying.html

My daughter sent me this one as well!  Gotta love Tinkerbell!

For today, that is my truth!

Life is Precious. A Sacrifice of Praise No Longer! Update.

Hello There Everybody!



http://mypureintuition.com/2014/02/21/chicken-soup-for-the-soul-friday-life-is-precious/

Life is Precious
I hope you all are doing well and enjoying your Fourth of July weekend!  Life is indeed precious, isn't it?  It can sound like a cliché, until we are faced with difficult situations.  Cancer.  Divorce.  Blood tests.  Financial burdens.  Transitions.  Caring for ill parents.  Missing our children.  Discovering who our friends really are just when we need friends the most.  Unexpected and terrible results on medical test.  Doubt.  Hurt. Past Hurts.  Oh my!  The list can go on and on.  But, my dear loved ones, life is STILL precious. 

Yesterday as we left for chemo, I saw a little boy walking and I said, "Oh little boy, I'm sure you may not appreciate walking right now, but it's such a wonderful gift!  Enjoy it!  Before cancer, I didn't appreciate walking, yet now that is doesn't come easy, I do! 

A Sacrifice of Praise No Longer!
Just two weeks ago, I had worked up to two walks a day, each one was an hour long!  During these times, I prayed, worshipped, and listened to Job over and over again.  I realized that I spent - and spend - much of my day worshipping God.  My so called "prayer time" seemed so short - and simple.  I asked God about this and guess what?  He told me I am called to praise Him.  He told me to just praise Him and the prayers would take care of themselves. 

Lessons Learned from this conversation? Well, read on, Baby!


http://www.examiner.com/article/we-bring-the-sacrifice-of-praise

1)  I've not been called as a prayer warrior, but am I ever grateful to those with that precious calling.  My calling is to praise God - in all circumstances.  So I begun to do so.  And guess what?  I feel lighter!  It's wonderful!  And it no longer feels like a sacrifice to praise Him!  Figuring out my calling - or part of it - is why.  Let me encourage you to spend real time with God and realize your calling.  Then live it out.  It's fabulous and peaceful.  Sure, I still pray.  My journals are one of the biggest way I pray.  I pray throughout the day, short simple conversations.  But, oh my gosh!  I love to praise God - even now - all the more now!

2) God will lift up prayer warriors on my behalf.  As it became too hot to walk outside, I took to the mall to walk.  My son lovingly teases me that I am now a "mall walker"!  Yup, I am!  Anyway, I digress.  My husband and I were walking and ran into a couple we know.  We run into each other about once or twice a year.  She works with my husband and he and my husband share a love for cars.  We had a short conversation and then went our separate ways.  As mentioned in a previous post ("Ugly"), it's pretty obvious I'm fighting cancer.  

When she and Ray ran into each other at work, he shared my story.  Yup, you guessed it, she told him the Lord had placed me on her heart for the last few months!  She didn't know why, but He did.  I hadn't seen her in at least a year, but she was praying for me.  God will lift up prayer warriors on my behalf.  Amen!

I am now understanding the phrase "sacrifice of praise."  I'm learning to praise Him in the storm, as well as in the sunshine.  And in doing so, He makes my yoke easy and my burden light.  For this I praise Him! 



http://girlfriendscoffeehour.com/2013/01/10/lifes-healing-choices-week-1-make-the-choice/

I personally know many of you who are reading this.  You are facing difficulties - great trials in your life.  I do pray for you.  I also praise God for you.  He will see you through.  Seek Him with all your heart - you'll find Him, He'll answer you. 

Update
Well, a few weeks ago, an ultrasound found a "mass" near the first tumor.  Eeesh!  Did I ever freak out!  But, then, after a day I realized God is in control.  I decided to name the first tumor "Thing 1" and the second mass "Thing 2".  Remember them?  

http://newlife919blog.blogs.com/new_life_919_blog/2011/10/butterflies-paul-and-2-things-about-hope.html

Well, I got calls from both my surgeon and oncologist.  After their meeting with the tumor board, where they viewed and compared the CD images from April and June, they are in agreement that the radiologist is perhaps being a bit too cautious due to my cancer diagnosis - and I'm grateful for his caution.  They also said it is highly unlikely for a new malignancy to occur during chemotherapy.  So, I am going for an MRI next Wednesday.  It's in God's hands. 

The fabulous news is that Thing 1 has shrunk by 70% - awesome!  Also, the lymph node that previously showed as cancerous appears to be clear!  (Maybe I should call it "Thing 3?)   Overall, great news!  God is good all the time, all the time God is good!

Love you all!

And, for today, that is my truth!