Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Tears. Depression. Friends. Laughter. Oh oh. A Request.

It was so nice to be home.  I got to see my grandbabies for a precious few moments. They're sick with something a step up from bronchitis, but not pneumonia.  I love them so and miss seeing them so much!   
My daughter came over Sunday night with Baby C. He's grown so much!   It was delightful to see him!   I was showing my daughter the new chemo hats and beautifully glamorous scarves I picked up in Houston.  When I tried on one cap, he took one look at me and began crying in fear. We laughed -- at first.   Then when he gave the same reaction to the second cap, I cried with him.  All I could think was, "I'm going to be so ugly that I'll scare kids on the street!"  I was so sad and depressed for about a day.  
Of course, now I realize that Baby C. is just that - a sweet little baby. Of course he was freaked out!  First I have hair, then my head is hairless and red (the color of my cap). THEN my hair pops out.  Life is good until WHAM!!!  My hair is gone and my head is bright pink!!!!    Eeeesh! Come to think of it, it really is enough to make anyone cry!!!  Goodbye, depression!   You're no good for me!!!
My dear Polly spent Monday with me - in spite of me being depressed!   We had a lovely meandering day!   Just lovely!   (Wink wink, Polly!).  
Today we spent the day laughing, gallivanting, running errands - which included a trip to our favorite Mexican bakery!   Then we went to Isabel's.  Oh my!   Her delicious burritos de huevo con chorizo y huevo con salchicha con frijoles and hot tea were so appetizing!   Yum!   Then we tried to quickly teach Isabel to crochet!   She is an amazing student!   I love how she sticks her tongue out when she's really focused!   After she saw all the possibilities of granny squares, she was hooked!!!!
Well, I cut my hair uber short - about 1" all over.   Everyone kindly complimented on it.  It is an adjustment.   
Well, Friday morning I go under the knife to get the port for chemo installed.  Then chemo starts on Monday.  
Prayers, please!  Would you all do me a favor?   Could you send me your favorite scripture or quote?   I'm planning to read them during my first chemo treatment.  
You know, I would be lying to you if I said I wasn't afraid.  I am scared.  I know I'm on the verge of beginning one of the toughest years of my life - the year I really am literally fighting for my life. I've been through a lot in my life - we all have.  But I've had many joys, many happy times, many encounters with God, many friends who fill my life with laughter and my precious family.  I'm not through living -- there's so much to live for!   Life is good. 
"Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6.  God still has a great work to complete in me and I want to see the good work he will complete in you as well. So, my dears, I will fight to live, I will fight to see the Lord complete the good work in me, I will fight to see the good work the Lord wants to complete in you, I will fight to live.  There's a song that I love, lyrics say this: 
Sing it over me 
I'll sing it over you 
He loves us 
He loves us now. 
My prognosis is great! Yes, there will be treatment, but my prognosis is great! I will have a full healthy life ahead of me and I will enjoy watching and participating in your lives! We have a great future together, in the name of Jesus! 
And for today, and is my truth!


  1. Never...not for a second, have I considered any other possibility than that you will be fine. Not optional.

    "Don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring it's own worries. Today's troubles are enough for today." Matthew 6:34. It's the only Bible verse I know, and the only one I need to know.

  2. Thank you my Polly for sharing your proofing talents!