Results. Surgery. Psalm a Day

Results


http://www.cliparthut.com/large-thing-2-clipart.html

Hallelujah!  Thing 2 is benign!  Yea!  Praise God!  As we were walking into the doctor's office to get the results, I reminded my family that whatever the results were:  God is good!  And He is!  Thank you to everyone one for your prayers, love, support, positive thoughts and for being there for me!

Surgery
August 27th is the big day!  So today my hubby and I are going out to buy pajamas with button up tops.  If I remember correctly, these were invaluable to my sister-in-law as she recovered from her surgery. 

A dear friend of mine recommended making a support pillow for my breast.  She described it as a sort of rectangle that goes from my neck to my stomach.  It should be as deep as my breasts are.  Then, if I sleep on my side, I place it between my breasts to support the operated on breast.  She suggested filling the pillow with polyfill so it will be soft and conforming. We discussed making an extra one as my incision will be on the bottom of my breast. I'll let you know how it works out!  Wow, I don't think I've ever written the word "breast" so many times in one paragraph!

Psalm a Day
I've been reading through the Psalms.  It's been a wonderfully uplifting, learning experience!  I pick a verse from each Psalm and write it in the Psalm a Day section of my journal.  I've been looking for a Psalm a Day podcast commentary, so if you hear of one please let me know! I'd love to explore podcasts until I find the "right one" for me!  (miaismine22@gmail.com)

Today I read Psalm 9 and verse 9 really stood out to me.  It's one of my favorites:

The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. 

Then the Lord reminded me of a Bible study tool:  focus on the verbs in each verse.

The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. 

Then I remembered from my teaching days, I would ask my students to note the subject of the verb - who is doing the action.  So I decided to do the same.

The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. 

The Lord is.  He whispered to me, "The Lord is.  The Lord is."   He simply is.  Period.  Whether the news is good, bad or ugly, He is.  The Lord is.

He is for you as well.  The Lord is.

And for today, that is my truth. 

http://www.christianbook.com/taste-that-lord-good-chalkboard-wall/pd/153291

So why?

http://www.ynccla.org/sermons/audio/why_god_why_injustice/

So Why?

I was asked by a non-believing family member this question: "Why would a loving God permit His child to suffer?"  This member went onto say they would never allow their child to go through what I'm going through.  These words were spoken with great love for me, with great frustration on my behalf, and with great confusion.  I understand, my dear one, I understand.

This question was posed to me at a time when I too was beginning to feel anger at cancer - which is a good thing.  And even anger at God, which is an honest and true emotion, one God Himself created.  He can take our anger, our bitterness, our hurt, our fear, our confusion, our doubts.  God is a big God - He can not only take it, He can heal these emotions. 

I pondered this question for some time, then I realized how much good has come out of this painfully frustrating, scary situation.  Yup - I made me a gratitude list. I counted my blessings.  Have you ever done this?  It's so healing.  Here's what I came up with:

1.  My husband and I are closer than ever.

2.  Life is sweeter, richer.

3.  I was able to minister to others in Houston.

4.  My friend of over 30 years came to the United States just in time.

5.   Friendships are deeper and more authentic.

6.   I'm realizing how special my PCP truly is and how blessed I am to have her.

Yes, this journey is hard.  Yes, it stinks.  Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes, God still sits on throne.  Yes, Jesus loves me.  Yes! Yes!  Yes!!

For today, this is my truth!

http://eternityinourhearts.com/category/thoughts-on-faith/





My New Companion. Say What? A Quote.



http://dishmoptop.com/tag/triple-negative-breast-cancer/

My New Companion. 
So, I have a new companion.  Her name is Fatigue.  I'm learning to make peace with her, to listen to her.  She is actually becoming a good friend.  I'm realizing that if I simply pay attention to her and follow her suggestions to rest, my life is better, my healing is better, my recovery is better. 
July was tough.  I had a hard time with Fatigue.  August has been a bit better. 
I'm learning to listen. 
I'm learning to laugh. 
I'm learning to trust. 
I'm learning.

Say What?
Ok, so my oncologist told me that the new mass was nothing - remember rejoicing with me about that?  Well, he didn't give me the whole story.  My surgeon shared the proverbial "rest of the story" with me.  The radiologist staged the mass at a Birad 4.  That basically means, "Biopsy this mass NOW."  What a shocker.  So, after dealing with doctor's and such for a week, I finally have authorization and an appointment for an ultrasound guided core needle biopsy on August 18.  If "Thing 2" is benign, we do a lumpectomy followed by 6 - 7 weeks of radiation.  If it is malignant, we do a mastectomy followed by 6 - 7 weeks of radiation.  If Jesus comes back before then, we rejoice!  I should know by the 21st at the latest. 

A Quote
I leave you with a quote from a book I just finished, The Reluctant Midwife by Patricia Harmon. 



"We all have hard lives, Becky.

Don't you know that?

Sometimes you just have to take your wounded heart out,

stitch it up,

stuff it back in your chest, and go on..."

 Indeed, as we lean on our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, He will help us take out our wounded hearts, He'll stitch them up, stuff them back in our chests, and help us to go on victoriously!

My dear friend, keep fighting the good fight. 

Keep on believing. 

And believe me,

I'm preaching to myself tonight. 

For today, this is my truth. 

Photo Credit: http://i1194.photobucket.com

http://www.mychristianresource.org/christmas-time-encouragement/