Thursday, March 26, 2015

Reality. Water.

Wow, so much has happened.  My last treatment threw me for a loop, much quicker, much harder....yuck.  Usually I have at least 24 hours after treatment to feel fine.  This time, I felt the "yuckiness" during the last hour of treatment.  The new anti-nausea/vomiting medication seemed like a placebo - no improvement over the last one.  Well, it turns out I have thrush - which puts a whole new spin on things.  The one "spin" that is hard for me is no kissing my grandbabies.  Really?   Really!  Really. Do you know how much I kiss my babies?!  Ok, so no kissing.  I can do that. Reality is starting to hit:  I have cancer, I really have cancer.  Eeeesh. 
 I've been praying for the joy of the Lord, because that is my strength.  I really need it as I face the new limitations, bodily changes and do's and don'ts that come with chemotherapy.  I can accommodate  them with a fairly good attitude.  But I need me my water.  Just yesterday, I listed to God all the hard things that are going on - as if He doesn't know, right?  Then I simply asked for one thing:  Please let me drink water.  I miss drinking water.  Plain old water.  The last time I had a glass of water, I ended up worshipping the "porcelain throne" as they say.  See, fighting cancer is hard.  Life changes.  As much as I'm willing to fight to live, I do have one limit, one boundary, one thing I don't want to give up and that's water.  Well, guess what, just as I was hanging on that last knot on my rope, asking my Father for water, He gave it to me.  I just drank about 4 ounces of water and I don't feel like puking!  Isn't God good?  As we go through this walk together, I chose to continue to have faith, to smile because I really feel like it, and to pray for and to receive the joy of the Lord.  That's how we get through trials:  His joy, His love, His laughter, Him.  I'm blessed to have all these.  
For today, that is my truth. 

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