Wow, so much has happened. My last treatment threw me for a loop, much quicker, much harder....yuck. Usually I have at least 24 hours after treatment to feel fine. This time, I felt the "yuckiness" during the last hour of treatment. The new anti-nausea/vomiting medication seemed like a placebo - no improvement over the last one. Well, it turns out I have thrush - which puts a whole new spin on things. The one "spin" that is hard for me is no kissing my grandbabies. Really? Really! Really. Do you know how much I kiss my babies?! Ok, so no kissing. I can do that. Reality is starting to hit: I have cancer, I really have cancer. Eeeesh.
I've been praying for the joy of the Lord, because that is my strength. I really need it as I face the new limitations, bodily changes and do's and don'ts that come with chemotherapy. I can accommodate them with a fairly good attitude. But I need me my water. Just yesterday, I listed to God all the hard things that are going on - as if He doesn't know, right? Then I simply asked for one thing: Please let me drink water. I miss drinking water. Plain old water. The last time I had a glass of water, I ended up worshipping the "porcelain throne" as they say. See, fighting cancer is hard. Life changes. As much as I'm willing to fight to live, I do have one limit, one boundary, one thing I don't want to give up and that's water. Well, guess what, just as I was hanging on that last knot on my rope, asking my Father for water, He gave it to me. I just drank about 4 ounces of water and I don't feel like puking! Isn't God good? As we go through this walk together, I chose to continue to have faith, to smile because I really feel like it, and to pray for and to receive the joy of the Lord. That's how we get through trials: His joy, His love, His laughter, Him. I'm blessed to have all these. For today, that is my truth.